Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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