using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
