so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
