break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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