she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
