i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I forget how to act sober
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