ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize