I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
When did angry sex become our thing?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
