so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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