So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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