he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
What a dumb baby whore.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
