Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
