she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
