Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
