and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
