What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize