I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
