I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
