Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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