i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
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