"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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