Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize