I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
