my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize
