I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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