He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
