i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
i think i just lost a toe
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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