She said her name was "party"
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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