her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Just high enough for therapy.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Randomize