If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize