My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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