i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
