I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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