dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
