Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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