Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
