he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
