So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
