the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
