New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
