Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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