Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
