so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
