if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
