I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize