NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I touched a dick in church today
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
