What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
