well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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