only if we run a train.
done.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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