hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
