it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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