I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
