She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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