Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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