I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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