Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
