do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
