Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
