Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
