do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
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