Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
