I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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