do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
We had sex on a dog bed..
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize